The Beauty In Letting Go

I have a friend. He's a fighter. He believes that he has to fight to get everything that he wants out of life, and that quitting means losing.

At first I admired his courage. This man swallowed his pride in pursue of his dreams. But soon enough, I realize that his persistence doesn't stem from confidence. It comes from the need to prove himself. It's merely another form of insecurity. 

Dispite his best efforts, he keeps on getting rejected. In love, in his career, in social settings, in life. And with every rejection he learns to believe that he's not enough. He grow to hate himself.

The problem is, some people can't differentiate grit and force.

I believe there's a break even point to these kind of situations. It's true, you shouldn't give up easily. But it doesn't mean that you should scar your self-worth by morphing yourself to fit into a place you don't belong. It doesn't mean you should waste countless hours trying to please a person who lays out bright signal they want nothing to do with you. Even more so if they said it out loud.

It's almost impossible to put a pinpoint as to where this equilibrium stands. But I believe that everyone should have one. A healthy one at that. One that saves you from heartache. One that saves you from unnesessary scars. One that prevents you from questioning your self-worth, creating a false belief that you're a misfit in this world.

Truth is, the more you get rejected, the more you're likely to think that the world rejects you somehow. It's like trying to fit a piece of puzzle into blocks of Jenga. You weren't being resilient. You were forcing it.

If you feel unwanted in a group of friends, then leave. Find another group. If you're trying to make plan with someone, but they keep canceling it, then stop. Find someone else who would actually be pleased and excited to hang around you. If you asked for a job and they hold you off for the longest of time, then it's time to look further.

There's beauty in letting go. The subtle art in knowing when enough is enough. And it doesn't mean that you're quitting. Or that you've given up. It means that you value your time and energy enough to make room for something else, perhaps something even better, to come your way. For while you waste your time trying to be accepted, you're holding off a million other choices. A million worth of chances. And if there's one thing I learned is that life's too short to put on hold. And only by letting go the shackles on your leg, you can start to take a step forward.